What do you do when you feel stuck, in limbo, confused, or paralyzed? Like Dr. Suess says, “You’re in the waiting place!” I know it’s a dreaded and uncomfortable place to be. Yet, it can offer rich discovery when you sit in the space between, not focused on any outcome or destination. Keep reading to explore how to navigate the in-between spaces of life on your way to your next destination.
The Liminal Spaces of Life
In psychology, the “in-between” is called the liminal space — it is a “hallway” to another place. Transition and transformation start here in this space, although it is not where we choose to be or stay. The word “limen” means “threshold” in Latin, which can reveal to us a lot about what this space means. In science and psychology, liminal space is the middle ground between two grounds — a boundary between two points in time. This space has liminality, a concept from social anthropology. When you feel stuck, it is being neither here nor there, neither this or that.
Often, in primitive cultures, there are ceremonies to celebrate the rites of passage to mark the transition from one state to another. For example, childhood to adulthood, while adolescence is a liminal space between neither being a child nor an adult. It marks a point in time between two life stages.
I think we can all agree that the teenage years of adolescence are full of challenges until we “arrive” to adulthood. Which sneaks up on us! This is a great example of being in that in-between space. Just as the teenage years can feel confusing, so can midlife — that space between adulthood and old age. Thus, the term “mid-life crisis” likely stems from this reality of not quite knowing where you fit in and not necessarily feeling ready for the old age that seems to be fast approaching.
Where We Experience the Space Between
Major life events such as divorce, job loss, empty nesting, retirement, or the death of parents can also throw us into these in-between spaces. These moments often involve a painful detachment from our previous identities and the comfort they brought.
The truth is life is a constant evolution. Throughout our lives, we must move into new identities and create a new facet of who we are in this world. In these moments, we may find ourselves asking questions like:
- Who do I want to be?
- Do my circumstances dictate who I am?
- Can I take the lead and define who I am?
Transitioning through these spaces isn’t easy. Our minds crave structure, certainty, and stability, making identity shifts particularly challenging. However, navigating the space between with grace and resilience is possible.
How To Move Gracefully Through the Space Between
I am no stranger to being in these in-between spaces and feeling confused. It can be hard to switch identities, beliefs, or states of being. So what are we to do when we find ourselves in this uncomfortable and confusing time?
The only way I know is to allow this weird and strange space to be. You can’t escape, and going backward only delays the inevitable course of your life. We must go through these “hallways” and start to get comfortable being in the passageway!
This is a time when great creative thinking can grow because you aren’t focused on one particular outcome. Stay curious about all the possibilities, celebrate what fresh ideas come up, and rest. Rest your mind and spirit, knowing change is inevitable, and you get to decide which path will take you to your next destination.
We like things to be clear and defined; thus black and white thinking can be difficult to shift but not impossible. We need support and encouragement to see all the middle ground and value its place. Addressing the real effects of being in between is important. Anxiety and fear can grip us. It can feel isolating and cast out of our communities’ defined structures. We need each other; we need to belong. We can find support from our “people” to acknowledge and even celebrate the transition between two places in life.
This is why we, as people, have created a variety of rites of passage ceremonies. In the darkest of moments, when we can’t see a way forward, we can create a simple ceremony to process this grief of the loss of what you once knew and do this alongside those you treasure. Make it your own!
Let’s Navigate the Space Between Together
You no longer have to let what you cannot understand or control hold a grip of power and fear over you. You can alchemize this process as you come to deeply know it is part of your life’s journey and you are not alone. We all land in the “waiting place” more than once, and it doesn’t have to be so scary. Thank goodness, Dr. Suess knew this and shared with us so beautifully in “Oh, the places you will go!”
As a life transitions coach, I am honored to be a resource and guide through this in-between space, and I look forward to celebrating your next transition. If you’re ready to navigate the space between with grace and resilience, get in touch today. Together we can make the space between something extraordinary in preparation for the next destination.
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